Loving an Angel
by Dream-tiger
Summary: Prequel for Losing an Angel. See how the two love birds found each other and how everything happened. How did Tatsuha meet Suguru? How did Hiro find the love in K? Please review.
1. Chapter 1

Alright people it is a prequel or a sequel or a something-quel. I will call it a duhquel. Meaning you knew I was going to write this even in the back of your minds if you didn't consciously think about it. I bet some of you were aching for me to write about it. How did Tohma fall for Shuichi in those two years? The answer is here.

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Tohma had been sitting at the bar for hours drinking nothing but water. Mika had told him he had been working himself too hard and needed to unwind a bit somewhere. Obviously her somewhere was not at home because she had became upset he was still there after a few moments. Instead of asking why she was upset he just went to the bar anyway. His thoughts drifted to his bands and their progress. Smiling at himself he realized Mika's words rang true, he was a workaholic. He sighed and began to think about the band Bad Luck. They haven't been working as hard as they should be. It was probably because of Shindou Shuichi's mood. After all his Yuki Eiri was everything to him. If Tohma knew the novelists whereabouts he would have called him. He was sure they would come to an understanding. No, it wasn't that he liked Shuichi or supported fully his relationship but he didn't want a band with so much potential to fall so quickly. Tohma had no idea about Yuki's whereabouts because he was on a book tour in Europe at the moment. Tohma didn't have a copy of the schedule but he was sure with one call he could. He looked up at the clock. 1:00 am. Damn it was late. His thoughts drifted back to Mika. Would she care if he ever got home? Would anyone care that an old keyboardist ever got back to his house? Would anyone care if he just drowned in his cup?

"Hey we are going to close the bar soon. You should really be heading home." Spoke one of the bartenders. He only cared because Tohma owned the stupid place. Why was everyone acting as if he was a child? He vaguely wondered if that was how Yuki felt when Mika or himself worried about him.

"You're probably right." He agreed standing up from his chair. "Goodnight." With that he threw down some money and walked to the coat rack. He didn't have an umbrella so he would have to bear with the rain. He grabbed his dark coat and hastily put it on. Looking back at the bartender he smiled at him softly. He didn't want to go back home. A wave of his hand was all the bartender saw as he left the bar. He stepped out into the rain and shook his head. These were times he wished he had listened to somebody. Get an umbrella. That's when he heard a soft murmur next to him. A young boy lay sprawled across the concrete with a light shade of blue gracing his lips. He was shivering slightly and didn't appear to be moving much. Tohma's eyes widened. He scanned the boy's form and realized this wasn't just any boy. It was Shindou Shuichi!

"Shindou-san?" He spoke unsure. Of course the boy never responded he was too far gone to. Tohma panicked. He had to get Shuichi somewhere fast. It was a race to the nearest shelter and all that was in his mind was Shuichi's well being. No matter how much he disliked him he didn't wish for him to die. A band lives by their main singer. There was no two ways about it. The closest place he could think of was the home Shuichi shared with his lover. He ran down the street forgetting his car as he held the boy close to him. He was so cold.

"Please don't die Shindou-san." He chanted over and over as he ran towards the building coming into view. The boy had tears running down his cheeks as he murmured something about being hated. He looked like a child. An innocent, broken child. Never mind that he was already a man. He raced to the door at top speed. Why did he forget his car? He kicked open the door and hurriedly placed him on the couch. Then he started to remove the singer's wet clothes. He had cut marks all up and down his arms. He never pictured him to be a cutter. His body was so pale and skinny; the keyboardist started to wonder when was the boy's last meal. He let his hand brush against the singer's jaw. Why did he do this to himself? Did he love the novelist that much? He rushed out of the room to grab some blankets and threw them upon him. He had to be fine. He had to just wake up or show some sign he was ok. He found himself crying. Why? He never liked the young man at all. Yet he felt tears flow down his cheeks. He feared that Shuichi would die. If Shuichi was to die then he would feel responsible. He would feel as though he failed Eiri. He would feel worthless. He made sure that he tucked the blankets underneath Shuichi. He sighed and took a towel from the bathroom. Propping Shuichi's head up he started to dry his hair. This was so strange and surreal. He never thought that he would be the one to help the pink haired wonder. Sighing he watched the young boy shift uncomfortably. He moved himself onto the couch and place Shuichi's head into his lap. Body warmth is the best thing that could help someone cold. Tohma remembered hearing this somewhere. Tohma didn't remove his clothes however and just joined the man under the blankets. He was so cold. Tohma vaguely remembered falling asleep.

He woke up violently as the young man in his arms bolted up. Unaware that he was only dressed in boxers Shuichi pointed with an accusing finger at the older man. Tohma was completely confused on why Shuichi bolted up like that. After all he didn't see anything wrong with his actions. He was also still half asleep and didn't think of how Shuichi took their position upon waking.

"It's you!" He exclaimed then soon moved around dizzily. "I'm so-"He then fell down only to be caught by the man he tried to get away from.

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"He has Pneumonia and it is very severe. The blue lips and the fever he now has are a part of this. The blue was a result of lack of oxygen rather than how cold the night was. We may have to get him an artificial respirator if things get too bad. However, it does seem he is breathing ok enough that we don't have to resort to that so soon. " The doctor spoke causing Tohma to peer down sadly. He didn't think that what was happening would be that serious. "He's woken up a few minutes ago asking about who brought him here and such. We haven't told him anything yet of course because we have no idea if you want to be mentioned, Mr. Seguchi. We will get him antibiotics and such and perhaps in a few days he will be strong enough to go home. However, when he goes home he will not be cured he just won't need the hospital's care. It will be up to someone who lives with him to help him with his medication and such." Tohma nodded silently. The doctor placed a soothing hand on the keyboardist. "If in the case that he can not fight the illness. Which I do not doubt that it might happen since cases like these-"

"Can I see him?" He asked expectantly. The doctor nodded slightly and Tohma smiled. Walking near the doorway of the room he heard Shuichi give out a cough fit. His heart sank. The doctors didn't think he would be strong enough to make it through this. It was sad that someone so young had to face a life or death illness.

"Gross." Shuichi spoke after he had finished coughing.

"Spit it out on the napkin Mr. Shindou." The nurse ordered the young man. There was a silence. "Thank you Mr. Shindou." Tohma took this time to enter the room and smile warmly at the pop star.

"Seguchi-san!" Shuichi exclaimed in shock. He had thought it was just a dream that Tohma was helping him. After all why would Tohma help him? Yet the man he thought was his rival was there standing in the doorway looking concerned. This had to be some sick joke someone was playing on him.

"Mr. Shindou it is not a good idea to get your self over worked." The nurse warned but seeing that she was being ignored left the scene. Tohma forced a small smile.

"How are you feeling, Shindou-san?" He asked quietly. Shuichi looked down.

"Am I dying?" He asked quietly. Tohma gasped sharply. He didn't think that the singer would ask him so bluntly like that.

"I don't know." Tohma told him truthfully. He knew that was no way to ease the boy's worries but that was all he could say. He looked down not daring to see the young man's eyes anymore. He heard strange breathing and he immediately peered up. If Shuichi was having trouble breathing again he should call the doctor. However, instead he saw Shuichi's eyes brimming with tears.

"I don't want to die, Seguchi-san." He cried looking for something to hold on to. Tohma offered himself and pulled Shuichi into a secure embrace. "Please." He cried harder. "I don't want to die." Tohma didn't know who the man in his arms was telling this to. He didn't know what he could do to heal the pop star. He could only watch and wait to see what would happen. The doctor had no faith in the man's ability to live or at least had very little faith. So Tohma stood there uncomfortably as the man he thought he hated cried into his chest. "Help me." The last few words out of Shuichi's mouth came out as a whisper but Tohma heard them. He rubbed the Shuichi's back only to find the singer was fast asleep. He laid the pink haired man back down on the bed and sighed. Then he checked the young man's breathing. It seemed like everything was fine. Covering him up with the blankets, Tohma smiled softly at him.

"I'll try."

* * *

Prologue of this story almost matches the prologue of the other. However, what goes on later is not a two year later thing but a one day later. Now you can see how the two got together. YAY! 


	2. Chapter 2

Wow only three people reviewed. That's pretty sad. Oh well

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"You're going to see him again?" Mika asked confused. "Wasn't seeing him once enough?" Tohma ceased turning the doorknob and peered behind at his wife. He thought she would be happy that he was leaving the house. Lately she had been acting as if she didn't even want him there. She would tell him to take a walk in the park or go somewhere to ease his mind about work. However, Tohma couldn't just forget his duties and rest somewhere. A lot of the events around him needed to be managed. Seguchi Tohma was a man who didn't like to leave things alone. He needed to be in control of the situation. By no means necessary should the shacho ever lose control. (a/n song by missy elliot runs through my head. "Every body here get it outta control. Get yo backs off da wall cuz…")

"I need to make sure he is fine, Mika-san." Tohma told his wife. She just huffed and turned from him. "Really don't be like that." His voice was almost pleading her to comply. "I was the one that found him." Mika rolled his eyes.

"You found him. Great." Mika informed him. "But you forget I am your wife and he-"

"Needs me." Tohma completed her sentence with his own thoughts. "Mika-san, there is no need to be jealous. He's just a boy."

"A boy, you stayed at the hospital for two days straight with." Mika spat venomously.

"What is your problem, Mika-san?" Tohma asked her. She looked down guiltily.

"I don't want to lose you." She spoke quietly. "After I lost the baby I-"

"Mika-san you won't lose me." Tohma cut her off. He didn't want to remember the child that would never be. The baby he was looking so forward to meet until that terrible news came. "I have to go." With that he left. Looking away, Mika sighed. The phone rang behind her and she picked it up slowly.

"Hello?" She asked cautiously. "Yes. I had a wonderful time last night. No, he doesn't suspect a thing. Tonight? Actually, I think it would be fine."

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"Please, Mr. Shindou." The nurse almost cried in frustration. "Eat something." Shuichi shook his head. The pop star was skinnier than he once was. He had lost all color from his skin and even his pink hair lost some vibrancy. He peered away sadly from the nurse. He was visited by Hiro and the other people affiliated with Bad luck. He was also happy to see Ryuichi come to see him. However, after every visit he felt more and more depressed. Where was Yuki? Why hasn't he come? His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the wall. Seguchi Tohma stood in the doorway with a vase of flowers in his hands. Smiling politely to the keyboardist, the nurse knew it was her cue to leave. She then turned back to look at Shuichi. "I'm going to leave the food here." She told him. "Please you need to eat." Shuichi just stared at the man in the doorway not even acknowledging her presence. Sighing she left the room.

"Seguchi-san." He spoke in disbelief. Tohma smiled at him softly and approached the bed. Shuichi held his breath as he watched his boss take a seat next to his bed.

"These are for you." He pointed out placing the vase on the small table next to Shuichi. The younger man just kept his violet eyes glued on the blonde as he moved slowly back to his seat. "How are you feeling?" Shuichi's eyes narrowed.

"Where's Yuki?" He asked. Tohma raised his eyebrows. "Please tell me." Tohma peered away from him and shook his head. Almost immediately after seeing this Shuichi's eyes hit the ground. He knew Tohma had to have some idea of where Yuki was.

"Lets just concentrate on healing, Shindou-san." Tohma spoke his voice threatening to fail him. He actually didn't know where Yuki was but he was sure it wouldn't take much effort to find out. However, the thought did not appeal to him. He didn't want Shuichi to think about his brother in law at the moment. It was obvious from the lack of enthusiasm at work and the recent illness that Yuki was the center for Shuichi's pain. Tohma didn't want Shuichi to feel that pain while he was so critically ill. Shuichi had asked for him to help and now he would. He would protect Shuichi from any harm. It was the least he could do. "You should really eat."

"Please, Seguchi-san." Shuichi begged. "Tell me where he is." Tohma smiled softly and looked away.

"Shindou-san, why aren't you eating?" He asked quietly. Shuichi shook his head violently almost making him dizzy. He didn't like the way Tohma was changing the subject.

"SEGUCHI-SAN TELL-" Before Shuichi could finish his outburst he started to cough violently. Tohma jumped from his chair and tried to see what was wrong. All Shuichi could do was to point weekly at the tissues on the table. Quickly Tohma grabbed the box. He wasn't sure what he needed the tissues for but Shuichi asked for it. Grabbing a handful of tissues, Shuichi immediately threw them infront of his face..

"Should I call a doctor?" Tohma asked unsure. Shuichi shook his head as he continued to cough into the tissues. Tohma then watched as Shuichi pressed his face into the tissue and then balled it up. Shuichi had spit on the tissues and had balled it up so Tohma and anyone else wouldn't have to see it. Throwing the tissue ball into the waste can, Shuichi turned back to Tohma.

"I'm sorry." He said solemnly. "I can't take this place, Seguchi-san. I want to see Yuki." Tohma sighed sadly.

"I don't know where he is Shindou-san." He admitted. Shuichi's eyes widened with this new found knowledge. "I'm the one who should apologize." Shuichi looked down sadly and nodded his head softly.

"No, don't." Shuichi told him. "I know you were the one that saved me. I have been rude to you and…I'm sorry." Shuichi peered down at the food that still laid silently on the hospital tray.

"Please eat up then, Shindou-san." Tohma told the younger male. "You need your strength to fight this illness."

"Do I?" Shuichi asked staring out the window. "Yuki's not coming back is he?" Tohma sighed heavily. He didn't know if Yuki was coming back or not. "Does it matter then?" Tohma looked up shocked at Shuichi's words. "Does it matter if I live or die?"

"You can't leave everyone else in this world just because one man ceased caring." Tohma told the pink haired man heatedly. Shuichi turned to him with glossed over eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Did he tell you he stopped caring?" Shuichi asked his voice quivering. "Is that why he left? Of course it is. He hates me." Shuichi started to break down into sobs. Tohma stood up from his chair and turned away. Shuichi noticed this but couldn't stop crying long enough to say something to the man. He would just let him leave. However, in a matter of seconds the singer felt himself being wrapped in two slender arms. He stiffened at first but soon melted into the embrace. Holding Shuichi close to his chest, Tohma ran his fingers delicately through his hair. This wasn't the first time Tohma held him as he cried. He started to feel a strange pain in his chest as he held this boy.

"No, Shindou-san." He spoke softly into the other man's hair. "He never said he stopped caring. I'm sorry I made you cry." Even though Tohma was only apologizing for that one time, Shuichi felt as though he was apologizing for all the things he ever did. Snuggling deeper into his embrace, Shuichi let his eyes close. He enjoyed for that moment, the feeling of being held and having a soothing hand run through his hair. It was the feeling of being cared for. Even though he did not particularly like the president of NG, he was content with being in such a warm embrace.

"You may think no one cares for you but what about your friends and fans? Shindou-san, many people care for you." That was something K had almost said to him once. The only difference was instead of caring it was about needing. K had told him that he would become more valuable than he ever imagined (1). Obviously he wasn't valuable enough to Yuki.

It wasn't that he wasn't aware of those around him who cared for him. He knew he had fans that loved him and great friends, but he felt empty without Yuki. He pushed from Tohma and sighed. Was he to wait for Yuki to come home? Should he get better knowing that when he leaves the hospital, he would be greeted with an empty apartment? An empty apartment would only bring back unwanted memories. He didn't want to live with the pain. He was critically ill. Maybe he was meant to die.

"Shuichi, please." Tohma begged using Shuichi's first name. Shuichi froze and stared at Tohma in shock. "Please try to get better. I don't want you to throw away your life. You told me that you didn't want to die that night. You will if you don't eat. Please, for me." He picked up a spoon and scooped up some jello. (a/n anyone remember that song : "J-E-L-L-O It's alive!"?) "Please eat." Shuichi looked up at Tohma's face. His eyes searched Tohma's chocolate pools. He couldn't argue that his boss didn't look genuinely concerned. He opened his mouth tentatively and allowed his boss to feed him the food. The jello didn't taste bad but then again it wasn't exactly good. It was watery or lacking something. Tohma got Shuichi another spoonful.

"This jello taste funny." Shuichi spoke after eating his second spoonful. Tohma smiled softly and shrugged.

"It's a hospital, Shindou-san." Tohma told him matter-of-factly. "Not a gourmet restaurant." Shuichi wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue. Tohma just smiled back. Shuichi was caught wondering why Tohma decided to go back to being formal with him. He felt slightly disappointed. He thought Tohma and him were making friends. The again he was Tohma's employee. Bosses and workers do not make friends. (a/n Sure they do, Shuichi-kun. )

"I bet the food is really cold." Shuichi mentioned as he saw Tohma get ready to feed him some. It wasn't necessary for Tohma to feed Shuichi. Even though Shuichi was weak from his body fighting the illness, he was perfectly capable of feeding himself. However, Tohma probably didn't understand that fact. Tohma nodded.

"But you have to eat something." Tohma informed him and presented him with the food in question. Shuichi looked up into Tohma's eyes and sighed. For now he would have to deal with the cold, unsatisfactory hospital food. Shuichi wasn't exactly sure why all this was happening to him. The whole situation was like a strange dream. Perhaps one day he will awake and realize that none of this ever happened. Would he be upset to find this was a dream or relieved? Shuichi didn't know anymore. He didn't like the hospital or the food they provided. And here was Seguchi Tohma, his boss and rival, feeding him like a baby. It was so surreal. He wanted to protest. He wanted to tell him to leave him alone forever but he never did. He just kept opening his mouth and letting Tohma feed him. The food was plain and Shuichi wrinkled his nose at the taste. However, there was something in the way Tohma was caring for him that made him want to get better.

"Am I interrupting something?" Hiro asked as he tried to walk through the door. However, K also tried to get through the door as well. Hiro's eyes narrowed at the gun totting manager. Hiro backed up and let K through first, however. This was only because he didn't feel like being shot at. Rolling his eyes, K turned to Shuichi and smiled.

"I came to check up on our little singer." K spoke then drew out his gun. Shuichi's eyes widened and Tohma just smiled. "You better get well soon or else." Shuichi sighed. 'He could have just sent a card.'

"Seguchi-san, what are you doing here?" Hiro asked calmly. "And why are you feeding Shuichi?" Tohma couldn't stop the slight blush on his cheeks. He dropped the eating utensil and jumped to his feet. Shuichi watched in silence as the keyboardist left the room.

"Well that was weird." K commented as he stood staring at the doorway. "You!" He pointed his gun back at Shuichi and Shuichi froze. "I have nothing to do now that we are having a work vacation because of your illness. I'm bored."

"So you decide to come in here and make it worse by stressing Shuichi out?" Hiro muttered. K's eyes twitched though no one seemed to notice. Lately K had been acting a little stranger than usual. It was probably because of the recent divorce he had to endure. Right now they were about to start a custody battle. Put all that stress and heartache with a gun and you have a mass murderer waiting to jump out. Hiro was half expecting K to run in a mall and shoot up the entire place. Or perhaps he would just go to Hollywood and shoot everyone that is at his ex wife's new movie premiere. Images filled his head. "You ruined my life, Judy!" Bang! Bang! Maybe some helpless actors and actresses falling to the floor crying would happen as well. K was staring at Hiro angrily again. What was his problem? It seemed after the divorce K had done nothing but become very cruel to him. 'No wonder his wife left him.' Hiro thought looking away from K.

"I just wanted to make sure my singer is ready to be in tip top shape, Hiroshi-kun." He spat the guitarist's name as if it had a bad taste in his mouth. If Hiro was hurt by that gesture he didn't show it. In fact he made no indication that he even heard the difference in K's tone. However, Shuichi picked it up. All he could do though was stare at K worriedly.

"Well I came to cheer you up, Shuichi." Hiro spoke as he took the seat Tohma once sat in. Shuichi smiled softly as his friend. K just looked slightly annoyed.

"Thanks." Shuichi spoke quietly. He knew Hiro was going to talk about Yuki. It was something he tried to bring up last time but Shuichi feigned sleep. He didn't want to talk about Yuki because it hurt him so much. He didn't want to cry in front of K. Crying in front of Tohma was humiliating enough. He didn't need a whole group of awkward situations. "How are things with Ayaka-chan?" (2) He asked making sure the conversation never got to his situation. Hiro stopped and sighed.

"I guess it is fine." Hiro spoke to his friend. Shuichi smiled at him.

"You're the only one who has a good relationship going." K muttered as he shined his gun. (3) Hiro caught his words and peered behind him. Their eyes locked and K sighed. "Get better Shuichi-kun." He spoke and walked out of the room. Hiro smiled at Shuichi and repeated K's message. Then he too left. Shuichi peered down at the food. Why was everyone acting so strange lately? Lying down on his bed he sighed. He didn't want to eat. Somehow he suddenly didn't feel motivated.

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"K, wait!" Hiro called. K stopped and turned around. He glared angrily at Hiro and crossed his arms around his chest. "Throwing your anger at me isn't going to help your relationship any."

"What relationship, Hiroshi?" K spat and walked away from him. Hiro sighed. Somehow that went better in his mind.

"Where's Shuichi?" Came a voice near him. Hiro kept his eyes on the door that K left from. Why did he have to be the one that K decided to hate? "Never mind I'll find him on my own." The voice said and soon footsteps faded off into the distance. Hiro never noticed this man as he kept wondering how he was going to face work when Shuichi got better.

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1- In the 12 episode of the Gravitation series (The fansub. I have the anime now but I think two to three years ago I had to get them off the internet so meh!) Shuichi was brooding about how Yuki left him among his unneeded things. K then interrupted his angsty monologue and told him "What does it matter?" He then started to tell him about all the people who needed him. Then he said "Shuichi, soon you will become more valuable than you have ever imagined."

2- Ayaka-chan. In Episode 12 oh yeah that's the one. Shuichi asks "How are things with Ayaka-chan?"

3- In Psychology class and AP Psychology class in high school I learned about defense mechanism. One of them is displacement. You take your anger and direct it towards someone who had nothing to do with the situation. Hiro has a girlfriend. Everyone else K knows doesn't have a great relationship. So since his is on the rocks he directs his anger towards the one that doesn't have a bad relationship.

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It's ok Tatsuha and Suguru will meet soon. Tohma and Mika will have another spat and Shuichi will fight to find Yuki. Oh and Yuki calls. Badum Badum.


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